Charles Wayne Southwood

I am looking for my son he was born sept 8,1972.If you know where he's at tell him his mom misses him.

my boy's are driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I'm having a few friends from faithworks and Jacob is being so mean to me;.Trying his best to make me cry so I won't enjoy the party.What he doesn't realizes is that everytime he does this I'm not affected like I was in the past.I refuse to let people steal my joy.I have come to far to let anyone control my life.The only one who has control of my life is the Lord and me.I wish he could be happy that I am happy but he needs to learn to deal with his past .He uses his past as a excuse for everytime he hurts Dovie or me.He is turning from the only people that loved him and was there for him in the past.Cody is not being mean just can't get him to help much to clean house.He thinks it's a women's job.Well enough criping.Here's to a good party!!!

Twilight

Dovie and I went to see Twilight.After so much stress the last 2 weeks.It was just awesome!!It was a real bonding experience.Dovie has really been depressed with all of Jacob"s acting out.She loves him and can't grasp why he is being so hateful to all of us,She doesn't understand ,She holds her pain and disappointment inside.Jacob has such a kind heart but has been taught from a early age not to respect me.He hurts so much inside and doesn't know how to deal with it.For those who know all that my kids have been through understand what they went through to get to this point in our lives.We were isolated from the world for many years by a very controlling man.The kids didn't start school until 2005.We weren't allowed to go anywhere together.I could leave to go work but was not allowed to take the kids anywhere.We were taught a very weird religion.We couldn't eat pork but could eat bacon and saugese. LOL We observe the Sabbath while John smoked crack and explain how evil the outside world was.WE were practically held prisoner with the help of his drug using friends.But on memorial day 2005 we became free.I enrolled the kids in school as soon as it open after summer.Then I was arrested for things that had happen when i was with John.I went to federal prison for a year.I was unable to see the kids the whole time I was gone.So you can see why they hurt.Of course that is just a little of what they went through because I have always been taught I wasn't good enough.Since then God has changed all of us and now we know the abundance of the Lord's love thank you for listening

life

Yesterday I was ready to quit FaithWorrks again.I could not get pass my physical pain.But God had other plans for me.I am now going to do my internship from ACU library via internet at class.I will be searching for books on laptop.That way I can do the work without all the walking.I am filling out the paper work to see about putting Jacob in the Boys Ranch.He is so full of anger and pain cause by his Dad and biological mom.He is taking his anger out on me and his siblings at home.It hurts me to do this but I love him enough to know I can't give him the strong spiritual father figure he needs. So far I've been told I'm a terrible Mom to do this.But when my older son Charlie needed help I didn't get it for him.Now he is a bum on the streets in California. I have pray long and hard about this and I know this is what he needs.I pray he will know How much I love him and that I want the best for him.He has a very loving heart but right now he can't see past his anger and hurt.He was taught from a young age not to respect me. And now with his two younger sister being adopted by foster parents.He just hurts so much.We tried for a year to get the girls but it just didn't happen.Please pray for us

It's Saturday morning in our new home.We are still not all the way unpacked.Jacob brought a friend home to spend the night without permission and Friday night went downhill from there.We get to see Leigh and Ashley today so I'm excited about that. Its been awhile since we saw them.I'm so exhausted from school all week.My pain makes everything harder.I want to finish the schooling without dropping out but I need prayers to help me with the pain.I really want to go to college to become a social worker.I want to help abuse people realizes they can get free from their abusers.I feel like the devil is trying to stop me from succeeding.But I will not let him.Well I have to sign off now to get ready for today

New Home

I try this morning to post twice about how I almost quit Faithworks but it just didn't work.Last night I was hurting so bad I couldn't move.ACU library is so big.I could not walk back to my car from where I work.I went straight home and went to bed.I felt like I was failing everyone because I wasn't strong enough to get pass the pain.I wrote Joyce the head and heart of FaithWorks and told her I was quiting.She wrote back NO WAY!!! I'm at FaithWorks today,my mentor is trying to get approval from my Dr for a electric wheelchair.Please pray I get it .What freedom that would be.I could go to park with the kids,I could get around at the grocery stores.I would not use it for all things as I want to walk as much as my pain will allow.We are at our new home now.I miss the washer and dryer from our old rent house but other than that I love the new house.It is bigger,cheaper and closer to my church.I was so stressed during our move I made myself sick.But praise the Lord , We got though the moving process and things are so much better in our new home.I'm just rambling but I do that so well.LOL.Thank you Eddie and Steven for your comments will I was going crazy.I'm glad I didn't quit here at FaithWorks.This place is a place where you grow spiritally and emotionally.I thank God he got Lori Ann to bring me here.It has help me and my children as we grow to become a closer family.The year I was away we drifed apart a little but our Church home and FaithWorks has given us so many people that the kids and I love.People that really care about us.When we lived with John he kepts us so isolated and convince us there was no one out there that could love us.But God has proved him wrong.Bye for now Have a Blessed Day ,Tasha

New Life in thru Christ

Well this is all new to me but I wanted to share what God has done for me lately.I asked his help to better our lives"mine and kids".He gave me a car and a new house.Not the house I ask for but one that was better.All my life my parents and later my ex told me I was stupid and ugly and I would never make them proud.For years I hated who I was and how I looked.In 2005 I left an abusive situation.Since than I am learning to like ME.I found out I'm not stupid actually I was told my IQ is 7 pt below genius imagine that.I went to prison in 2006.It was there I began to realizes that I don't need to make other people happy.I can be anything I want and that God loves me just as I am.Two of my kids were blessed by being sent to a foster home in Hawley.Thru this they joined the Church of Christ.They found people that loved them.When I got out I went to church and found people that accepted me. In September I began FaithWorks,a 13 wk career development course.I am now perusing my dream.I will intern at ACU library.I hope to write a book about my struggles and how God has worked in my life.I want people who are abused to know there is a way out.I want to let everyone know God is with them and he doesn't make mistakes.I will close for now because I'm suppose to be packing for the move to our new house.Have a blessed day Tasha